No Wait too Long...

Lord, I long with desires that blossom deep inside,
Many so painful and yet the pain do I have to hide.
I long for something, with every breath of my soul,
That this desire constantly threaten to swallow me whole.

My thoughts, they rage, my emotions in civil war,
And though I try my best, it causes pain I can't ignore.
I fall down 'pon my face and let out a wrenching cry,
Then I whimper, with tears flowing and let out to God a sigh.

I have heard He is faithful and doeth all good things,
And joy may only come in total trust of him.
He is El Odam, the everlasting God,
The Jehovah Shalom, the peace for so long I have sought.

And so I trust in God, though in this life I may not see,
All that I desire, come finally to me.
But I wait in anticipation for that Final Day,
For heaven is my reward, if I live for him today.

And so I wait for my earthly desires, be it a day, a year, a life,
For only God knows if my desires be fulfilled if the time ever be rife.
For no wait be too long,
To know that in my Father's plan I belong.

Lord... Whenever I am down, the evil one knows exactly where to attack me...

Lord, waiting on you is so hard. But I look at all the other Christian saints, they too waited...
Frances Schaeffer waited 4 years. Jim Elliot waited 7 years. Many, Many others I can name waited...

Lord I do not care how long I have to wait, a day, a year, or even if my desire is never fulfilled on this earth (Perhaps it be my thorn?). For there is no wait that is too long, that I would rather be out of your plan... Not my will but thine Oh Lord!!! Thus is truly my cry.

You know that I have only one last strong earthly desire, and You know what that is...
And You know that my requirements be high because of the way I have chosen to live my life, totally dedicated to you. That desire must be totally surrendered, both by me and that desire itself if ever it shall be fulfilled. And thus of course do I pray for the fulfillment of my desire. But followed by a resounding, NOT MY WILL BUT THINE! For only you knwo if it may be fulfilled only in a matter of days, months, years or perhapos never.

For perfect me in my trust in you, that I may find true peace and joy and the loving arms my my Christ. For even as now I study the lives of the modern day saints, Lord, may I be like them, that when they came to know you, they can safely say, as Paul, t'is no longer I that liveth, but Christ that liveth in me...

For there is no cell nor member in my entire body, that can deny the truth and existence of Christ, and so for Him shall I live... And may I always do so...

In Christ Most precious name I pray,
Amen...

Thank you Lord, for Your Hesed... T'is that that keeps me going...


"我不在乎人生孤独，
我有耶稣爱我，耶稣于我同住。"
(Writing Chinese characters is really hard...)